"Golfer frozen to death at the driving range"

This was the headline I expected to see after a trip to a local driving range last night. £5 for 100 balls and I must have hit all of 8 or 9 before I realised that I was absolutely FREEZING. No lie it must have been about -5° with the winchill factored in. The bucket of balls seemed to go on forever. The guy standing behind me was also suffering and we did share a moment when we discussed how we might be better off playing snooker!

I have questioned my parents as to why they couldn't have made me Portuguese

And yet today, all of 6 days later, I was whipping my clothes off quicker than Ashley Cole when his Mrs isn't looking.

Glorious it was - I wish I could have got 9 holes in.

( I bet Ashley was saying that as well )